For the ones who lost someone

Hey Friend,

Hah. Friend. Funny, coz I haven’t been too good with those lately. Friends. But, You, You’ve always been patient with me, even when I haven’t been patient with myself. With You I can be honest and open and at peace. Not Condemned. Not Questioned. But lovingly corrected. I can be vulnerable and still feel secure. Your love is like that, so full. So encompassing. I digress, back to the topic.

I know I’ve been a bit distracted lately. Almost swallowed in the noise, the pressure to be, to do, to prove, maybe letting a little too much take my attention. But You always find a way to keep bringing me back to Brooke. For that and so much more heart is yours. Even when I lose sight of it, You remind me. And love me still

I have no idea why I am stalling so much, like You don’t know already. I should just let it out…

SO, I found his diary. I have read it numerous times. You know I still miss him, so much. So so much. I guess, You see him all the time. Well You always have, but You see him much more than I do. Not through the picture frame smile we have of him. You get to see him in Real time, well Your time, which isn’t really time at all, is it? I mean a thousand years are as one day to you right?

I would be jealous, but I know he’s in the best hands there are. I was reading through the prayer he wrote to You. Man sure could write. Apples and trees, right? You, sure had the most beautiful conversations… This one got to me though. I couldn’t hold back the tears, but I felt every word. He really loved You. I know because I love You too.

It reads:

“As We Forgive Our Debtors,

Father, by Your Grace, the Grace of the cross, I let go of all bitterness, resentment and unforgiveness. If there are hidden roots of unforgiveness thank you for shining Your light on them… I thank You for turning injury into compassion and hurts into intercessions, as forgiveness brings heaven to Earth.

….

For Thine is the Kingdom the Power and the Glory, Forever.

Father, every gift you have given me, every dream, every talent, every possession, every resource and hope for the future. I return to you with Love. All is Yours

May Your name be glorified. All my Liberty, my memory, my understanding, my entirety, all that I have…I return  it to You.

Your Love and Grace are sufficient for me.

I love You Father.”

I know am not allowed to talk to him anymore, till we meet on that day. It hurts, but I understand.

If it’s ok with you…Can you please let him know how much I love him?

Tell him its from Doodlebug.

Even though I feel a flood of emotions that overwhelms me every time he comes to mind, something says to me, “Romans 8: 38 & 39”

And I hope Father that You can give that same voice to everyone who’s lost someone in this pandemic. Because Father to be honest this has really broken us in so many ways but the hope we have is that You’re watching over us.

I Love You Father.

I Love You Friend. My Thick and thin. My day one till forever…

I couldn’t ask for a better Father or friend

Ever Yours

Ashley Doodlebug K

Romans 8:38-39 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angles, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.