Self Love Redefined

The idea behind this blog is to start conversations. For any of you who dislike uncomfortable conversations this post  is probably where we lose you.

In the beginning I was completely against this whole self love lifestyle and to an  extent I still believe it’s another form of extremism but that’s a conversation for another day. Personally I embarked on the self love journey because I was at that point of just feeling unwanted. I’ve made amazing strides to be honest. The fact that I am writing is a testament to just how far I’ve come.

Self-love is based on the concept that we always find ourselves giving more than we receive, be more emotionally invested than the person we investing in. Generally the point is don’t let the world suck you dry.

“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself and that person will not be found anywhere”-Buddha. This is a realization that has hit me recently. I used to help everyone around me with whatever they needed. I was everyone’s Superman. Most of the time I would always end up disappointed because I was expecting the same from the other person or expecting an “I don’t know what I do without you.” This has gotten me to a point where I question if everyone around me really loves me. “If you do then why did you not reciprocate” was my go to phrase. It took me really learning to love myself to realize that my need to help really came from my own insecurity. I had a longing to feel needed. This destroyed all my relationships, some beyond repair and ended up in that let me just do me phase.

I think this is something we can all relate to. We use our own insecurities as justification to not do something for someone else and we term that self love. We blame people for failing to love us in ways that we can’t love ourselves. We become hard hearted.

There has to be more to this life than loving yourself. If you continue to “ take care of you” you will do it until you’re dead and there is nothing left to take care of. What would you have achieved?

Whomsoever shall save his soul shall lose it.

Love yourself so you can fight your demons before they invite more but don’t love yourself so that you love others less. Love yourself so that you find your genius and use it for good.

It is perfectly fine to be in a place where you feel you need toall in on you for a  bit. This is okay because to know your rolein helping others you have to know you. To know you youhave to love you. Just do not be like me, do not be that person who hides behind the idea of self love so they don’t get hurt by all the things they are insecure about. Do not call out self love in the name of avoiding difficult situations with people. The dictionary calls it cowardice. We have dictionaries for a reason.

For us self love is a journey where you begin to love yourself to the point that you become an afterthought

For us self love sets the benchmark for how you love others.

For us self love leads to selfless.

“None of you truly believes until he wishes for his brother what he wishes for himself.” -Prophet Muhammad 

This blog is for everyone but this last part is for anyone who says they believe  in Christ. 

As Christians we believe that he loves us so much he died for us on the cross so that we can be able to stand in the presence of the FATHER . Yet you can’t even check up on your troubled friend because you don’t “double text”?  You can’t be the bigger person and be a voice of reason because your pride will be damaged ?

    “If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, “Love your neighbour as yourself,” you are doing right.”