I was thinking about how we post our pictures on the internet and stuff. What if when we die people visit our pages for the last time and take pictures from there, the screenshots that they will soon delete because they are taking up space in their phone. And then they will just be megabytes of space on an instagram server thats always in transit in Oslo. That no one visits, no one ever looks at ….
It made me realise the totality of death itself, the collateral beauty . It made me appreciate my life more. I feel very grateful to be alive but at the same time I’m carrying this lump with me. Sort of like you have an air-bubble in your throat but no matter how much water you drink it doesn’t pop. A feeling nothing can take away. Sort of like a pain you can ignore that keeps poking you for attention and when you give it , it says no we are fine then it repeats and repeats and repeats…..
I think about the ripple effect of my death. Wether it will leave endless voids and gaps like I feel over my own losses. I don’t want to cause so much pain to the people I love so I would rather just not die. But there is pain and sorrow here on Earth. What a conundrum!
Why do I have to choose to settle for these measly things? I know Jesus died on the cross so that I can be saved and John even says that “whom the son sets free , is free indeed”.
I AM FREE!
Sometimes there is so much that is going on around and in me such that I really don’t see the “freedom”. Sometimes I focus too much on what I am going through I forget that I have an ever-present help in times of need. I forget that everything that I am looking for I have it in Jesus ,at my disposal I need only reach out. I forget that even though my actions reject him, he loves me still. I forget that it is by grace that I am here. Dzingori nyasha 🎶
What I am just trying to say is that we have a friend in Jesus. Whatever is bothering you , whatever is nagging you talk to him , he listens. He has got you, please don’t forget that.
You are free, free from pain, suffering, despair. Let go and let live,
Zvimwe zvinotoda Jesu
Back to my nyaya about pictures and instagram. I hope that I make an impact thats enough to have people go and look at my content after I have passed on.
To my brother Craig , I’m going to go through all your content today. I am going to marvel at your thoughts, at your dreams, at who you are.
You did it buddy , you made the impact.
Love you infinity!
Me.