Once upon a time I really liked this girl, let’s call her … . She really liked this song by Labrinth, just listening to it brings back those memories when I was trying to see beneath someone’s beautiful. Yeah I really thought that was something. So many romcom moments 😂. The late-ish walks, the incessant conversation, the shared grins but one thing that stands out is that “I think I’m seen feeling.” That was why I thought.
We both just wanted to be seen but you didn’t see me. Like wow you really didn’t and that wasn’t your fault, it was mine. I didn’t want to be seen. I mean I did, I really did but I wasn’t ready to try. It’s funny isn’t it how you can desire something like that but want no part in actually doing it so the reality never matches the want. Whenever I speak to you now I realize I didn’t see you too. At all. Every time I was like can I be him I didn’t even know the her. It really makes me wonder whether those movie moments were real.
Don’t feel bad, I’m learning to see myself. Not the me you saw or the me I’ve seen all my life but the real me. All of me, the me Jesus is showing me. And He’s showing me the beauty beneath the beautiful. Bit by bit. The confidence in being known that allows me to share it with someone else.
So in case you’re reading this
Dear …
I really hope He’s doing the same for you. And if He’s not I really hope you let Him one day. Not because I want to be him one day or because I want to have the 3 hour dmc, no not at all. I just want to run into you one day, see the content on your face of being fully known in a way that me or any boy can.
Love yours
…
“Desire something like that but want no part in actually doing it”
Beautiful ❤️