My First Lover

The thing is my life has always been a movie shifting genres between scenes from drama to kung fu fighting, yes I can be Bruce Lee at times, to me having to a wear a cape and try save the day. Even the occasional horror and the very very very  rare romance.

But everytime someone asks me to tell the story of how I met You, I chuckle. I know that will always be the most interesting and entertaining part of the movie. Why they ask?

Because I used to be a vault keeping everything behind that one door. Many tried to get through. They tried master keys. They tried to pick the lock. When that failed they sent in their best con artist thinking that they could convince me to open it. When that failed also they went full Call of duty and brought in machine guns and nuclear bombs but all that did was make that room in my heart even more uninhabitable. So I sat alone in that Chernobyl like room, taking in the radation and dissociating in my own self destruction. Until You knocked

There was something about the intricacy with which You knocked that said let me in, it’s safe.

So we sat and spoke and You worked Your magic. It was marvelous. Then at some point You asked if You could hold me down long term. Me being me I and not knowing a good thing when i see it I said no. But, you never went away. Even on those days when life was hard and I didn’t want a solution but just to be understood, You would swing by and say “Hey, I know you’ve been down. That’s why I’m around.”

When I couldn’t fit in but stuck out like a shining black eye the morning after, You showed me I fit in with You.

Eventually I decided to take You up on Your offer. But this isn’t a movie, it’s not all rosy. Life is a rollercoaster. Regardless, I am grateful that I met You,My First Lover. Now I have You and I am finally free from the shackles. For whoever You set free is free Indeed. Whoever You hold down, You hold down for eternity.

So here I stand, free. Unashamed. Resting in Your Love. And talking to You, Jesus.