The Musings of a Sadist in remission

You know how time flies; it seems like yesterday when we were walking from rugby practice. Beaming and full of testosterone, we were on top of the world, with an unbeaten run , excited about what the future held. Endless conversations about benzos and holidays in Santorini.

Now that it’s (give/take) 6 or 7 years later, you look at what you had planned and what the actual reality is. Utter shock, the type that is followed by disbelief, disdain, awe, wonder, etc. Let’s include all the adjectives, shall we? I mean, that is why we went to English-speaking schools. That is why we value English more than our own mother tongue (allegedly coz my shona slaps). You know its deep when she says “I love you” in venec, but that’s a bone for another day. I can’t run out of bones too quickly “, kunze kune nzara.”

I’m not responsible for all these wins, these milestones, and these lessons. So yes, I’m shocked, full of wonder and awe. Gratitude is a must. That is something that I live by. A code that has been passed down in my family from generation to generation for centuries. Yes, African families have histories too. So I pass it on to you, whoever is reading this. To give to yours and them to theirs, until we all know that gratitude is a must.

Do you honestly remember the last time you were obsessed with something? The last time you were so interested and passionate about something, you couldn’t sleep or do anything else. Like your body would itch and your brain would go into overdrive. It was almost as if you were living for that thing. Like anything? I can’t remember the last time, either. It seems life has been flying by. It’s almost like I’m a passenger in my own life, and hey, I’m an adult now. So I have to figure all this out for myself. Too bad they didn’t teach us “adulting 101: how to save money or get a mortgage“ in school.

Education System 1: 0 Me fulltime.

geography⚽️

It’s okay. At least I have a degree now. Life should just work itself out. Yet here I am typing endlessly, thumping that thought, taking that other one captive, executing that one, and definitely ignoring that one. The thought tells me that maybe I won’t measure up; I’m not cut out for any of this “shit.” Excuse my French. But writing about that stuff means that I’m entertaining it, we don’t do that here. VIBES ONLY.

In my few years on earth, I have learned that all my heart’s desires lead me to one thing. A rock that is greater than I, Christ. I imagine life without Christ, and it doesn’t make sense. I mean, when life gets tricky, who do I talk to, lay all my troubles to, or even trust to solve all my meaningless problems? These are the thoughts that matter to me. To know that my redeemer lives, to know that, as a Christian, I have chosen a set apart life. Definitely harder than it rolls off your tongues, simpler in saying than in deed, but doable nonetheless. So each day I live on earth, I remind myself that I’m loved, that I’m here on his account, and that I decrease so that he increases.

So as you go on about life, run your race to the best of your ability. Remember to put all the things you cannot carry on God. He is more than able. When we talk about his capabilities, we use words like “exceedingly abundant, infinity, incarnate of diety, unmovable mover, unstoppable force,” for a reason.

As I conclude, first of all, I’m not in despair that I haven’t flown to Joburg for vibes, let alone to Santorini, or am crying about the Amg’s new glowing braking discs that I don’t have. I’m grateful for the process, though. Which is something I wouldn’t have said a few years ago. If that isn’t growth, then I don’t know what is. Good things take time, and its only logical that we be patient. Second of all, if not all, when I initially wrote this article, I didn’t have anything to obsess about; I was just floating through life. And surprisingly, along the way, I kid you not, I found something that I love doing as much as I like dunked wingz. You can find something too; maybe you already have it. Either way, use it well.

”For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.“
‭‭Habakkuk‬ ‭2‬:‭3‬ ‭KJV‬‬

So whatever it is you are believing God for or working hard to achieve—that dream, that goal—it will be so. Though it lingers, it will come.

Know that you are loved and that there is an appointed time for everything

In case you are wondering about the hounds’ unbeaten run, well, we lost to Goromonzi in the last match of our flimsy rugby careers. SAD really, apa I scored a try futi, ncxa. On the bus back to the hilltop, I saw men cry, each in his own head, corner, contemplating. then JUBILATION! We had a good season, and Gunthra, whatever his name was, wouldn’t be able to take that from us. Thinking about it, that’s how I know that everything will be alright; after all, we were on top of the world.

hounds moto