The Yin and Yang of Being You

There are levels to this…

I have been trying to process what losing you means, trying to prepare myself for the aftershock…first and foremost I realize this is a wound I will carry for the rest of my life. 

Ours wasn’t a right time good friend thing. We lived together in the same house for what I can say is the most interesting part of this life. Like my baby I watched you grow from just a boy with self worth and daddy issues. To a man who couldn’t contain the love that he felt. I watched you grow into a man who knew who he was and most importantly what God wanted for him. 


On good days we would laugh , I would introduce you to my “new friends” and you would make them yours. On very good days we would sit and eat , go out be merry and talk all about it in the morning. On hard days we would stare at each other sigh and go on to have the conversation. On terrible days I would avoid you and you me until we decided we were tired of staying at Tadiwa’s or you at Res.  On bad days I would get so mad I swear I thought about killing you…. but you would smile and apologise , I would take it and some people would wonder why the cycle continued. When you werent happy with something you would say it and call me out ipapo. Unlike me (if you know me then you know)


On amazing days we would play music and sit outside our cottage, let the speaker run rampant as we beathe in the stuff of legends. At one point we would pray together on Wednesdays from 4 to 6 even if we were in different places. There is so much we would do, say and plan. So its hard for me to talk about you..


When you died I lost a huge part of me, it died too. The parts of me I didnt have to explain, the parts of me that laughed and was comfortable to be its true self. You see when you died , I died too…you werent just a friend, you were a brother.

You are my brother

One I would walk with through everything , when my world was burning you had to leave but you fought with me still. You didnt judge me , you told me it was okay and like all things we would get through it 

Together


But what the fuck Tino 
This I cant do alone. I can’t do this on my own  You said together you dumb fuck 
Nonetheless because I love you. We will still do all this together

Love you infinity buddy

Love you forever!

NB remember to love now kids, tomorrow is not promised. Do that thing, say those words. Just do it.

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